Botch the Crab babbles about Transformers and life in New York City. He's very funny and kind of mean. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com Years ago, I accompanied my friend Mike to the Sears optometry department where his father was buying him his first pair of contact lenses for his 16th birthday. If you've never had the experience, it should be known that the first time you receive contact lenses the optometrist places them in your eyes for you, then teaches you how to insert and remove them yourself. This is a naturally awkward experience, docilely allowing some stranger to put foreign objects in your eyes. For some it's not so bad; Mike had a less-than-ideal time. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=462 Sun, 04 May 2008 16:19:01 GMT As I was browsing eBay looking for more Headmasters to buy, I chanced upon a very fortuitous find: the original Japanese Headmasters Laserdisc box set. Now, I have Madman's Headmasters series, and I don't even own a Laserdisc player, so why would I care about that? Well, it just so happens that the font and back of each disc sleeve is covered with Headmaster-era box art! Crisp, clear, bold, unobstructed and savory box art. Raiden! Twincast! Targetmaster Hot Rod! Even a wonderful Fortress Maximus (Japanese variant). Thirty-two new bots in all! http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=460 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:23:01 GMT I've been pissing a lot. More... much more than I should be. And sometimes, no matter how often I go, I have this odd feeling that I should go again, even if there's not much there. Like eating Chinese food and still being hungry. So I took a little trip to the urologist yesterday to sort this little matter out. After an introductory discussion, the diagnostic session began with an ultrasound, which, being a guy, is something I never expected to ever have, and it determined that, yes, I'm successfully emptying my bladder. Draining the bucket. Loosing the juice.

Next comes the prostate exam. If you'll remember, I've recently had some experience with this. Well, apparently the first doctor was being gentle, or maybe my prostate was just having a good day, because this new exam HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. And made me feel as if I had to go pee-pee. This, apparently, is because I have some mild form of prostatitus. My irritated prostate fools me. My deceptive, self-absorbed, evil prostate is the culprit. Fuck you, prostate! Now I have to start experimenting with drugs that will either cure the condition or at least teach my prostate a little fucking respect. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=459 Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:03:01 GMT There's a reason I'm especially fond of the Terrorcons: they were among the first Transformers I bought with my own money when I got my first job at age 13 doing odds and ends at a local sporting good store. I would take my small weekly pay, head over to the local Clover department store, and agonize over which of the carded Terrorcons or Technobots I would buy (and which ones I would have to leave on the shelf). While I probably would have bought them all at once if I could, in retrospect I loved getting them individually because it gave me a week to savor each one for its own sake before a new acquisition could usurp my attention. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=458 Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:00:01 GMT I became an uncle over the weekend. It wasn't anything I personally accomplished, of course, it happened through no effort of mine. It was a title bestowed on me in absentia, on the opposite coast, through the labor of a young woman whom I have never even met. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=457 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:00:01 GMT Throughout most of my life, I have been very untouched by environmental concerns. See, if you don't have any interest in children, and you believe that your involvement with the world ends with your death, then what is the point of conservationism? Disposable planet for me! I've never been a nature buff, either — I dislike being around trees and bugs and sticky wet unsexy things — so what's my incentive to live green? Virtually none, from that perspective. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=455 Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:00:01 GMT Because he is awesome and insane, Heroic Decepticon sent me a Japanese Transformers "collecting" book (here) that featured some sporadic but desirable box art within its pulpy pages. The resolution wasn't divine, but in a few instances it was still better than what we already had in the Archive. From this assemblage, I have posted a couple scans in the Help the Archive for you to edit out the backgrounds, if you are so skilled and inclined: Springer, Grimlock, Dai Atlas, and Raiden. Editable yumminess. http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=454 Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:05:01 GMT http://www.BotchTheCrab.com/replies.asp?index=453 Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:00:01 GMT