Decepticon jets are great, but because they're supposed to be airborne, they're not as fun to send rolling across your kitchen floor. Kind of dispels the illusion, doesn't it? Decepticon cars, though... You can send those evil warriors careening across hardwood floors into cats and babies and ankles, immersed in the wheeled malevolence, cackling all the way. When the Stunticons were introduced in the cartoon as the Decepticons' response to Autobot road mastery, I loved it. More Decepticons is always a good thing, and 'Cons that intentionally collide into the likes of Jazz or Sideswipe are even better. And then, when they transform and merge into one giant super warrior... Decepti-Bliss. And now we have greatly improved box art for all of them!

Let's start off with the two archetypical maniacs of the outfit, Drag Strip (left) and Wildrider (right). These two lack any complexity beyond the desire to cause mayhem and suffering. They're exactly the sort of uncomplicated and unquestioning warriors you want on the front line. I was trying in vain to think of a word for someone who demonstrates bad sportsmanship over everything in life, gloating over his victories and correspondingly raging uncontrollably when he is beaten or slighted; whatever the word is, that's Drag Strip. Even his fellow Decepticons find him insufferable.

As a complement, Wildrider resembles a hyperactive and violent child. Racing along without fear or concern, if there's one Stunticon who truly "cackles", it's him. In fact, he's one of the few Decepticons whose actual function is TERRORIST.

Then we get to the two neurotic Stunticons, respectively Breakdown (left) and Dead End (right). Breakdown is a paranoic with an intense fear of being watched. You might think it was just self-consciousness or performance anxiety, but this delusion of being spied upon extends even to stoplights, human cars, parking meters, perhaps even radios and alarm clocks. This gripping psychosis naturally affects his performance as a scout.

Dead End isn't as afflicted as his teammate, but his reliability is still questionable: he's an unmotivated fatalist. Like the most severe goth child, the inevitability of death makes him disinterested in war or any other sort of conflict. Fear of reprisal -- and a certain laziness -- are probably the only two things that keep him following orders. Curiously, though, he expends an inordinate amount of time polishing and preening himself. Simple vanity? Or does he just long to be the most exquisite corpse?

At the head of this highway caravan is the most unkind Stunticon of them all: their leader, Motormaster. A tyrant, a bully and a sadist, Motormaster leads through fear and punishment, perhaps more so than any other Decepticon commander. It's easy to imagine him not only taunting and browbeating his subordinates, but physically torturing them just enough to cause real suffering but not impede their effectiveness -- at least not to the point that Megatron will notice. Whereas the Stunticons in general are foils for the Autobot cars, Motormaster in particular positions himself as a rival to his fellow flat-nose tractor trailer, Optimus Prime. Sadly, it's a match that Motormaster has yet to win.

This brings up the somewhat obvious issue of scale: Optimus Prime's cab-front becomes his entire chest; Motormaster's cab-front becomes only his feet! In scale, this would mean that Motormaster would be one of the most towering Decepticons around. For this reason, in contrast to his toy and box art, I prefer to imagine Motormaster as transforming more similarly to Optimus, with a separate detachable trailer. Like Optimus, Motormaster even comes with his own "Roller" car which forms the chest of...

MENASOR. The combined form of all five Stunticons. Extremely powerful and durable, Menasor might have been one of the more mentally cohesive gestalts if not for the fact that Motormaster is despised by the other Stunticons. The resultant merged mind is self-loathing, uncoordinated, vengeful, sadistic, wild and uncooperative. Motormaster's looming presence tries to drive the super-warrior, but he's countered at every turn by the mental extremes of impulsiveness and reluctance. Fortunately, Menasor's size and strength often compensate for what he lacks in focus.

The photo to the left is my Menasor, in what is probably the Best Menasor Pose Ever. (Considering his lack of articulation. But I cheated. Can you see how?)

The wildly improved box art for all six characters was edited by our long-time friend Slim from more Japanese Laserdisc transparency scans. Thanks, man!

Note that Motormaster's art is not the version that actually appeared on his individual package, but was instead the version from the Stunticon giftset. At least this update is thematically consistent!