My partner in crime (my wife) sent me a link to this New York Times article on three-dimensional printers and their newfound relatively-affordable price-tag (in the vicinity of $10,000). Oh yeah, if you haven't heard, they invented 3D printers a while ago, basically a primitive version of the Star Trek replicator. Yeah. Fucked up. But it's true.
For the last decade they've been closer to the $100,000 range, but now they're coming down in price. They predict they'll be closer to $2,000 in few years, if interest remains. And you know that like the DVD Player, the microwave and the cell phone, they'll eventually be cheap enough that anyone can own one. It's inevitable, if I live long enough, that I can affordably own a great three-dimensional printer. And then I can finally make a prototype of BOTCH.
So, many Transformer fans have created their own original characters. Usually we either create a combiner team (known as a "gestalt", a sub-team of robots that can form one giant warrior), or we create some kind of semi-autobiographical character. It's fun! But it's not always done well.
For instance, if your character has a secret past, especially one involving Optimus Prime or Megatron, it's probably dumb. If your character is the absolute strongest or fastest or smartest or deadliest Transformer ever, I probably do not care. If your character is the "mysterious, silent, but deadly" type, you are not a Cybertronian warrior, you are a fart; worse, if your character's name or speech is for some reason in all small-caps or all large-caps, it's better if they just shut the fuck up. If your character's name makes no sense for a Transformer to have — for instance, something involving the Zodiac, Stephen King novels, famous serial killers or heavy metal bands — then you better really sell us on why it's not stupid. And last but not least, if your new character's name ends in "Prime" then just... just go away.
Botch and I went in for some maintenance last night: I was scheduled for a deep tissue massage and Botch was going to get his claws sharpened and his cloaking software upgraded. We were on adjacent tables, but massages and software upgrades are typically silent things, so there wasn't much conversation at the time. Still, it's always comforting to have someone familiar around when you're nearly naked and a stranger has their hands all over you.
I had solicited a professional massage only once before: Dollface and I went in for a "couples massage" a few weeks prior. Though relaxing, it wasn't intensive enough to do any real therapeutic work on my muscles. Since my shoulders and neck have lately been feeling wound-up tighter than a rubber band ball, I decided that a deep tissue massage might be just the thing to force away the half-dozen knots throughout my shoulder assembly.
I have met people who appear to take the notion of tattooing themselves very lightly. The permanence and intimacy of tattoos does not seem to hold as much gravity for them, and images of toilets, copulating skeletons or a lover's name follow them around like an old t-shirt. Mind you, though this mindset is more often found in those who are heavily tattooed, I want to resist generalizations about such folks — I've met many much-inked individuals for whom every piece holds deep meaning. But I think you catch my meaning: people can be blasé about their tats.
For my own part, every one of my tattoos has meaning. Right now I have three (two and a half, really) and while the amount of forethought for each design, placement and actualization varied, they each deserve their place of permanence on my flesh.
Reports of my being served on a bed of rice are greatly exaggerated. Thanks to everyone who kept writing me over the last year. I was in a hole. I still am. Nevertheless …
Many thanks to Andrew Perti of G1TF.com for editing the Streetwise scan and Douglas Thomson for editing the Soundwave & Rumble scan. 泰师傅 donated a much-improved Star Convoy and Paul Heal donated a much-improved God Ginrai. Lanny Ellis sent in a nice Sixwing and a thank-you to mercian for pointing out that I had switched Dial and Saur.
How could I forget to mention and link to Slim's Custom Transformers Tech Specs? Slim has done some really great stuff over there, including a custom Botch tech spec! He's also just donated improved versions of Breakdown and Wildrider.
This be Botch. Hello all.
Welcome to miasmic halls.
This common click ties thou and we,
when clicking through the net we be;
I, the click of pedal units
dancing on metallic floors;
you, a fat flat-headed mouse,
or keys for those the "pet" abhors.
Cloak and dagger be my run...
well, cloak and acid-pellet gun.
Decepticon (but aren't we all?);
caustic; cold; with twice the gall
of bots three four five times my size:
modesty is not my pride.
I'm known to code a line or two
that rhymes for me, if not for you.