Several things.

• Check it: the 1985 UK Catalog ( side a / side b ). Courtesy of Prial, one of the unsung but frequent contributors to our little corner of the interweb. So someone should sing about him.
  
  
• A chill dude named JP White has recently discovered the Archive and made it part of his personal mission to submit and edit scans. He's editing the recent batch of transparency scans, but first he submitted:
  
  
• a greatly improved Roadbuster. It's a fantastic scan from the original box, but unfortunately that also means it is still slightly cropped. Roadbuster is hunched -- he looks like he's stooping to fit into the frame. I realize: I've gotten so spoiled with uncropped package art that's from non-package sources, it feels unusual and novel to have a classic, cropped from-the-box scan. How odd.
  
  
• an improved robot-and-train version of Astrotrain
  
  
• and the latest in a long string of improvements to Hubcap. I think this makes version 6. Look, I have a whole anecdote-laden post devoted to Hubcap.
  
  
• Ginraii sent in an improved scan of the 1986 American back-of-the-box battle scene. Epic!
  
  
• Lastly, check out this auction on eBay: 35 Japanese candy wrappers featuring Transformers Box Art! That's just a riot. I totally fucking want these wrappers, but not for $50. Hell, I could buy myself a mint Mindwipe for fifty-fucking-dollars. Mmmmm. Mindwipe. I want Mindwipe. Mindwipe. Mindwipe. Mindwipe. Mindwipe. Mindwipe.
  Mindwipe.
  Mindwipe.
  Mindwipe.
  Mindwipe.
  Mindwipe.

There are a ton of new scans available for helpful Photoshop experts to assist in editing. Half of them are 1985/86 Autobots from the first Japanese Laserdisc sleeves. These pieces need their backgrounds removed, leaving only the character art. Included in this group are Dinobots, Protectobots, Aerialbots, minibots, and more. Additionally, some previously reserved Laserdisc scans have been freed up: the Stunticons and Constructicons!

But even more exciting is a new series of transparencies featuring most of the original 1984 Autobots and Decepticons! These were actually scanned using a lightbox scanner, so the quality is superb. They just need to be color-corrected and delivered on a white background. Included in this lot are notables like Optimus Prime, Megatron, Jazz, Starscream, etc. All the greats! Many of these are actually for sale by owner. His eBay seller account is simgdaddy, but he's not auctioning them all at once. If you want to make a direct offer to him, email me.

All of these PSDs can be found in the Help the Archive section. As always, email me to let me know that you would like to reserve some pieces for yourself, lest more than one person edit the same PSD. Now get crackin'!

I'd also like to take a moment to thanks those who have "rattled the tip jar" recently by generously donating a few bucks to the Archive via PayPal. It is tremendously appreciated, and also humbling that you think highly enough of this little site to part with your hard-earned cash. Much appreciated!

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The last time I uploaded an improved version of Hun-Grrr's box art, I took a moment to discuss his distinctive name. At the time I concluded that his handle, however endearing, deserves all the mocking it probably receives. But let's scratch the surface a little to see what makes Hun-Grrr otherwise interesting.

Hun-Grrr has the honor of functioning as the TERRORCON LEADER. Unfortunately, the Terrorcons have never received enough attention in comics or cartoons for any consensus to form as to whether Hun-Grrr is any good at this task. As a whole, the Terrocons are an unruly and ferocious bunch, but then so are most Decepticons. Still, I think we can make some educated guesses. Of his four subordinates, two are infantry, one is a sentry, and the last is a "terrorist" -- in other words, they're grunts. Hun-Grrr is probably most occupied with maintaining simple discipline. Fortunately, he's not only the largest of the troupe, he's by far the smartest (though that's not saying much). According to his tech spec, while he may not be very skillful or fast, he's extremely strong, durable, courageous and well-armed. It seems reasonable that through simple threats and military psychology, he can do what needs to be done, which is keep the Terrorcons focused enough to be pointed in the right direction at the right time and tear to shreds anything in their path.

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New improved art for all six Throttlebots now graces these pages: Rollbar, Chase, Searchlight, Wideload, Freeway, and Goldbug. All edits are courtesy of the prolific Cosmic Duck. I call fowl! Anyway....

No one cares very much about the Throttlebots, a forgettable group of Autobot cars from 1987. They all share the same gimmick of a pull-back motor -- you know, where you pull a car back and it winds up, then you let it go and it rolls on its own? Yeah, that. It does this in car and robot mode because their robot mode is little more than the back half of the car moved upright. Zero articulation on these guys, unless you count the ability to lean back in awe. When they were released, the Throttlebots were intended to replace the minibots in price point, but their lack of variety or notable personality have made their position in Transformers history something of an afterthought, at best, and often even scorned. They were featured only momentarily in one of the last USA cartoons in a "roll-call" scene. ("Technobots, roll out! Monsterbots, roll out! Throttlebots, roll out! And, you know, everyone else!"). They got slightly more exposure in the comics, even appearing on the cover of issue 30. Since then they have for the most part been forgotten or occasionally dredged up as ineffectual cannon fodder.

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Everything I disliked about the first movie, I continued to dislike about the sequel. Allow me to elaborate. [spoilers ahead]

I still HATE the designs for these Transformers. They look like Terminators, or Predators, but not Transformers. Their transformations are so ridiculously busy, they effectively "morph" from one mode to another. They are ugly, and so overly-detailed that they become a blur -- the busy-ness of the forest obstructs the trees. While I thought the CGI was very cutting edge, the designs of the robots nonetheless prevent any fight scene from actually looking good. It's just red/blue blur versus gray blur. Fail!

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I know, it's been three weeks. I just haven't been in a "blogging place." Let me catch you up.

Um. Well, I got a cavity filled. As in a tooth, not butt sex. I'm not into that.

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Back in July of 2007, I confessed my infatuation with the Decepticon Monster Pretenders, the last of the Generation One combiner teams, who each shed their hideous plastic shells to merge into the fearsome super-warrior called Monstructor! I started gradually acquiring the individual villains, some for as little as $26, others for closer to $40. By December of '07 I had won Wildfly, Slog and Birdbrain on eBay. James Conejero sent me Scowl as a appreciative Xmas present, and in February of '08 I added Icepick to the mix for a total of five-sixth. Since then, for over a year, I've been seeking the last troublesome figure, Bristleback. Because he suffers from "gold plastic syndrome" -- a condition wherein the gold plastic of certain select toys is especially brittle and breakable -- he was hard to locate in decent condition, and then was greatly more expensive than the others, sometimes going for between $75 and $100. However, I diligently kept track of private sales through various message boards and finally managed to find someone who would sell me an imperfect but complete and serviceable Bristleback for only $45 (including shipping).

And so! It is finished:

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Have you found Jesus? I feel like I left him at your place last time I was there. Have you looked on top of the refrigerator? I might have left him up there while I was stealing your money. He's a short, bearded white guy in a robe. He's probably raising his hands aloft like he's playing with a small air balloon or something. Listen, if you find him, can you just put him aside and I'll pick him up next time I'm at your place? I'll bring the Marduk and Tiamat that you lent me.

Of course, I have a good idea why the disc appeals to me so much. It actually took me a few listens and some comments from friends to realize it, but Crack The Skye is strongly reminiscent of the classic recordings of Black Sabbath, my all-time favorite albums. Mastodon is certainly more layered with its multiple guitars alternately arpeggiating and riffing, as well as the nice vocal variety that comes from having three singing band members. But even apart from some "sounds like Ozzy" comparisons, Crack The Skye has that special feel that evokes that early Sabbath gravity and drama.

It probably doesn't hurt that I've had sex to the album, too. Twice. To hear tunes and peruse a cool website, check out www.cracktheskye.com.

Everyone who knows me knows that my all-time favorite band is the original Black Sabbath. What I've never really discussed is the curious situation by which I discovered them. As an early teen, I was listening to everything my friends were, which mostly consisted of a lot of hard rock like Aerosmith and Guns 'n' Roses. At some point, however, someone recommended a joke rap song by Anthrax called "I'm The Man." So I picked up that cassette, on which was a cover song that completely kicked my ass and would lead me to my hallowed tune-smiths: "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath."

Now I'd heard of Ozzy Osbourne and seen "OZZY" carved into school desktops. I knew him as the guy who bit the heads of bats and doves, and was apparently satanic, and had a song that made kids kill themselves. But I had no idea that his solo career had emerged from an earlier band, a concept that greatly intrigued my novice music-listening self. And what a name his former band had! BLACK SABBATH. Why wasn't this carved onto desktops? My curiosity much aroused, I went to the local department store and picked up my first Black Sabbath cassette, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (of course). That first listen was magic. The title track opened the album and was graver, more artful, and more desperate-sounding than the cover I'd heard. Gorgeous.

Suffice it to say, I eventually picked up every Sabbath album. I realized that they were truly the godfathers and creators of heavy metal -- anyone who claims that Led Zeppelin or any other band created heavy metal is not a true metal fan and doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. It eventually became apparent that many metal acts had done cover versions of Black Sabbath at one time or another. Sabbath was the bible of metal, a common ancestor of every thrash, doom, stoner, and death metal act around, and it's not surprising that a great many bands would pay tribute to them.

You can almost put together the entire Ozzy-era Sabbath catalog through covers alone. I haven't quite done that, but I have put compiled a nearly two-hour collection of MY FAVORITE BLACK SABBATH COVERS!

There are actually quite a number of Sabbath tribute albums out there, usually produced by a record label to showcase their acts. I bought a stack of them to sift through and choose the best, but I ended up disliking a lot of what I heard on many of these albums. Some featured all black metal bands, which involved a lot of screeching and up-tempo interpretations. Others were simply bad. In the end, about half of these songs come from tribute albums and the other half from the individual albums of the various interpreting artists. Enjoy!

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